Foster carer stories

Jeni - a foster carer making a difference

Jeni always knew she wanted to foster. For years, the only thing standing in her way was not having a spare room. But when her circumstances changed, she saw an opportunity to turn her long-held dream into reality. “It was a no-brainer,” she says. “There are so many children who need safe homes, and we had the space. I wanted to do something useful with my life.”

Her daughter Bell was also eager to welcome foster children into their home. Feeling lonely and wishing for siblings, Bell saw fostering as a way to bring joy and connection into their lives. Together, they embarked on a journey that would change not only their lives but the lives of many children.

Jeni found the application process with Fostering Barnsley to be therapeutic rather than intrusive. “You’re being entrusted to look after someone else’s child—it makes sense they need to know everything,” she reflects. The process took around six months and gave her time to be reflective and prepare emotionally.

Training was a highlight for Jeni. She appreciated the variety and the chance to learn alongside other foster carers. “There’s something for everyone, and you’re never alone—someone has always been through it before and can help.” The preparation - Skills to Foster sessions helped her shift her perspective, deciding to welcome siblings rather than a single child. “They have each other, and that makes a difference.”

Bell was also included in the training and assessment process, which made her feel valued and heard. The inclusion of birth children in the journey was a meaningful part of their experience.

Jeni’s fostering journey has been filled with proud and memorable moments—from teaching children to ride bikes and swim, to tying shoelaces and attending their first day at high school. She recalls the joy of taking siblings out for activities without arguments and the deeper emotional milestones, like when a child feels safe enough to have a meltdown. “Some might see that as failure, but it shows they feel safe enough to be vulnerable.”

She’s also cared for babies, building strong relationships with birth families and supporting reunification or adoption. “It’s a proud moment when you get a photo showing them thriving. You know you were part of their story, even for a short time.”

Being part of the fostering community has been a source of strength and joy. Through the Mockingbird programme, Jeni has built a strong support network with her mockingbird hub carer and supervisory social worker. “It’s tailored to what we need. We’ve built relationships based on trust and understanding—even dark humour helps!”

Bell has also benefited from the community, gaining confidence, patience, and social skills. “It’s great having new friends and meeting people you wouldn’t otherwise meet,” Jeni adds. “Other foster carers truly understand the challenges.”

Fostering has transformed Jeni’s lifestyle. Living with fibromyalgia made full-time work difficult, but fostering allowed her to be a full-time mum and improve her physical health. She’s learned Makaton, received training in epilepsy and additional needs, and even mentors other foster carers.

Bell has grown too—spending more time with her mum and developing valuable life skills.

To anyone considering fostering, Jeni says: “Do it. It’s rewarding and challenging, but knowing you’ve helped—even for a few nights—is powerful. You’re part of their story.”

She adds, “Being told you’re good enough to look after someone else’s child is massive. Anyone can have a baby, but not everyone can foster. It’s a privilege.”

For Jeni and Bell, fostering is more than a role—it’s a lifestyle. From sports days to parents’ evenings, they’ve embraced every moment. “Don’t underestimate what you can cope with,” Jeni advises. “There are hundreds of positive stories for every horror story. Every child deserves love and attachment. Don’t be afraid to love them—even when they move on, you still love them.”

Rosemary - a foster carer's journey "It feels good to foster"

Fostering was always in the back of her mind—she just needed the right moment.
Life had settled down. She had her own place, a spare bedroom, and a feeling deep down that it was time to give something back. That caring instinct had always been there.

Five years on, she’s still fostering—and loving it.

Why she started

Having worked in children’s services before, she knew how many children needed safe, loving homes. “It broke my heart,” she says. That feeling never left her.

She began her application just before lockdown. It was a slow process, but worth every step. “When Angie, my social worker, came for the home visit, I knew this was real.” COVID made things harder, but support from her mentor and supervising social worker kept her going.

The journey

The whole process took about a year. Training during lockdown was challenging, but having a foster carer involved made a big difference. That’s how she met Mandi, who became her mentor.

She doesn’t have children of her own, but the support from her supervising social worker, Tracey, has been solid. “We’ve built a relationship based on trust and mutual respect.”

Proud moments

There have been so many. One foster child came into care two years behind in maths. With encouragement and hard work, she smashed her SATs and even walked the red carpet at a certificate ceremony. “That was a moment,” she says.

She’s supported children through court hearings, police interviews, and school challenges—watching them grow into confident young people starting apprenticeships and earning GCSEs.

Support and community

She attends monthly support groups and connects with other carers through WhatsApp. “That network makes a difference,” she says.
She’s not part of Mockingbird or FCA, but she values the sense of community and shared advice.

Her advice

“Do it today. Don’t wait until tomorrow. If you feel ready, just do it. Don’t try and predict failure.”

One foster child summed it up perfectly:
“Fostering gives children possibilities to be a child again.”

The impact

She’s amazed at how quickly children can progress—developing speech, learning new words. It’s remarkable how much they can change in such a short time.

She’s seen the heartbreak of siblings being separated. One memory that stays with her is of two siblings clinging to each other like koala bears when one was meant to leave. “Siblings are supposed to stay together,” one of them said. “My brother has my back. I’d feel sad all the time if he wasn’t around.”

Why foster?

“Fostering gave me purpose. I feel fulfilled, complete. I love having children around. If I get a call for an emergency placement, I’m ready. My face lights up when I talk about it.”

Her foster child said:
“I kind of like it when other children come, like when six-year-olds come.”

Ready to make a difference?

Fostering is a worthwhile process. “It feels good to foster. You know you’re doing something good for the child—and the child feels good too.”

Jackie and Andrew - 18 years of love, laughter and lifelong impact

When Mia first arrived at Jess and Matt’s home, she was nervous and unsure what to expect. “To be blunt, I expected that foster carers would be really old and stuck up. I didn’t expect them to be nice. I was scared they’d really want to be in my business and be controlling. It was scary not knowing if we’d clash like I clashed with my parents,” Mia recalls.

Privacy was a big concern for Mia. “The scariest part was getting changed in my bedroom. When I first got here, I wanted a lock on my bedroom door, but you can’t do that because a young person could lock themselves in. It is important for foster carers to give teenagers their space and their privacy, to knock and give you a minute to get ready.”

Mia’s foster carers, Jess and Matt, helped her settle in by making her feel welcome and included. “Jess took me shopping first and to get a Mcdonalds. She helped me set up my bedroom and sort out my stuff. Jess introduced me to her family, including her older kids who lived elsewhere. It takes time, but I feel part of the family now.”

One of the things Mia appreciated most was being given her own space. “When I first came, they got me a snack basket for my room, so if I felt like I didn’t want to come out for a bit, I had my own snacks and drinks.” When Mia did well in her GCSEs, Jess and Matt rewarded her with a cat, making their house feel even more like home.

Mia’s story is full of small but meaningful moments: “Me and Jess did Pilates, I was ill in hospital and Jess started doing Pilates on my bed because she was trying to cheer me up, it made me laugh. Me and Matt dancing on holiday, it was terrible dancing!”

She believes that foster carers who look after teenagers need to be adaptable, open-minded, and good at reading moods. “I like to be by myself, but sometimes like to be with them, too. It’s ok not to get it right all the time, but to have the conversation and it’s important to have a sense of humour.”

Mia’s advice to anyone thinking about fostering is honest and heartfelt: “Expect the young person to come into your home thinking you are going to be nasty to them and that you will not be staying long. When I came in, I expected the foster carers to be nasty, but my friend said I should give them a chance. Get to know the young person and people who are important to them, like their boyfriend or girlfriend. You can go for a walk or to a café to get to know each other and build trust.”

Looking to the future, Mia is optimistic: “I want to be comfortably off, to be able to pay for things, and have pet cats.” She credits foster care with helping her get back into education and move towards her goals: “If I wasn’t in foster care, I wouldn’t be going to college; I wasn’t going to school. Jess gave me a challenge of not missing a day at school until the end of term with a reward if I managed it. I did it and after that it just got easier.”

Mia's story - finding a family and a future in foster care

When Mia first arrived at Jess and Matt’s home, she was nervous and unsure what to expect. “To be blunt, I expected that foster carers would be really old and stuck up. I didn’t expect them to be nice. I was scared they’d really want to be in my business and be controlling. It was scary not knowing if we’d clash like I clashed with my parents,” Mia recalls.

Privacy was a big concern for Mia. “The scariest part was getting changed in my bedroom. When I first got here, I wanted a lock on my bedroom door, but you can’t do that because a young person could lock themselves in. It is important for foster carers to give teenagers their space and their privacy, to knock and give you a minute to get ready.”

Mia’s foster carers, Jess and Matt, helped her settle in by making her feel welcome and included. “Jess took me shopping first and to get a McDonalds. She helped me set up my bedroom and sort out my stuff. Jess introduced me to her family, including her older kids who lived elsewhere. It takes time, but I feel part of the family now.”

One of the things Mia appreciated most was being given her own space. “When I first came, they got me a snack basket for my room, so if I felt like I didn’t want to come out for a bit, I had my own snacks and drinks.” When Mia did well in her GCSEs, Jess and Matt rewarded her with a cat, making their house feel even more like home.

Mia’s story is full of small but meaningful moments: “Me and Jess did Pilates, I was ill in hospital and Jess started doing Pilates on my bed because she was trying to cheer me up, it made me laugh. Me and Matt dancing on holiday, it was terrible dancing!”

She believes that foster carers who look after teenagers need to be adaptable, open-minded, and good at reading moods. “I like to be by myself, but sometimes like to be with them, too. It’s ok not to get it right all the time, but to have the conversation and it’s important to have a sense of humour.”

Mia’s advice to anyone thinking about fostering is honest and heartfelt: “Expect the young person to come into your home thinking you are going to be nasty to them and that you will not be staying long. When I came in, I expected the foster carers to be nasty, but my friend said I should give them a chance. Get to know the young person and people who are important to them, like their boyfriend or girlfriend. You can go for a walk or to a café to get to know each other and build trust.”

Looking to the future, Mia is optimistic: “I want to be comfortably off, to be able to pay for things, and have pet cats.” She credits foster care with helping her get back into education and move towards her goals: “If I wasn’t in foster care, I wouldn’t be going to college; I wasn’t going to school. Jess gave me a challenge of not missing a day at school until the end of term with a reward if I managed it. I did it and after that it just got easier.”

Chris's fostering story

Chris always wanted to foster, but waited until her own children were grown up and had left home. Encouraged by her family, she made the leap from retail to fostering at 52, and nearly 11 years later, she’s never looked back. “I loved retail because every day was different, but in fostering every day is totally different.”

Coming from a large family, Chris felt drawn to fostering siblings. She’s cared for groups of two and three, as well as individual children, and finds fostering siblings especially rewarding. “The first siblings I fostered were from a group of four; I had two boys and M had two girls. We gelled and became good friends… We shared Family Time and did more than was asked because we got on so well.” She’s seen siblings grow closer and more confident together, recalling, “I cared for three siblings… the connection and attachment blossomed; they all became confident and proud of themselves.”

Fostering siblings brings its own challenges. Chris remembers a placement where all three children needed toilet training and one was diagnosed with ASD. “When you foster siblings, they all have different needs… you see greater differences in siblings that come into care because their needs are from neglect.” Support from her fostering service and fellow carers has been vital. “If you’re not sure, ask… Caring for three kids is not easy, but it’s not as daunting as it sounds. I always parent every child individually, even though they come as a package.”

The rewards are immense. “When I’ve got the children, they are my kids and I’ll advocate for them until the cows come home.” Fostering has even changed her own family’s perspective. “My own family has benefited… they look on things differently and understand why fostering is different to looking after your own child.” Chris cherishes the little traditions she’s created, like saying “See you on Christmas tree” when children move on—a phrase her foster children still use.

Reflecting on her journey, Chris says, “It’s brought out what I am capable of and more. The challenge is big, but I feel good when I see the kids’ achievements.” Her advice to anyone considering fostering siblings: “Speak to someone who fosters; no question is silly. It’s not a walk in the park, you’ve got to have a sense of humour, but it’s the rewards you get—the smiles on their faces, knowing you’ve improved their lives a little bit and they can move on to better things.”

Lynsey's story - fostering a teenager

“Just making a difference, giving them opportunities; for kids to have a normal family life.”

That’s what inspired Lynsey to become a foster carer. For Lynsey and their family, the journey into fostering teenagers began with a leap of faith—and a bit of fate. After discussing the idea, a referral for a teenager arrived. “We took a gamble, and he fit with our family perfectly. I mean, he’s a teenage boy; he’s 16, we don’t expect him to be perfect; we’re not perfect, but he accepts us, and we accept him. We’re all learning as we go along.”

Welcoming a Teenager

Welcoming a teenager meant making space for independence and identity. “The bedroom had been used for younger children and had children’s characters on the walls. We decided to let him choose what he wanted, so he could have his own sense of identity. It was a good ice breaker going shopping together and letting him choose bedding, cushions, and bits and pieces like toiletries, so he had his own sense of identity from the get-go.”

Lynsey’s approach is rooted in flexibility and understanding: “We’ve learned from having our own kids, to choose battles and try and avoid conflict. We don’t make a fuss of little things; if they like something one day and don’t like it the next, we don’t make a drama out of it. It’s important to see things from their point of view.”

The Challenges and Surprises

“Fostering a teenager is not for the faint-hearted,” Lynsey admits. “Fostering a child of any age is not easy, but with a teenager you can have open communication, trust, honesty and respect. It’s a commitment on both parts; they’ve got to want to be with you and you’ve got to be invested and committed to them like you are with your own kids.”

There are challenges—setting boundaries, navigating independence, and supporting their development. “You have to be realistic, teenagers are selfish, due to their brain development, you have to help them see how their actions affect them and us and frame it all in safety.”

But there are also pleasant surprises. “With a teenager you can be more open and have your cards out on the table; ask ‘Do you want to be part of our family? In our family these are our expectations.’ He had different expectations of what living in a family was like, we set up rules that were fair to all of us.”

The Rewards

“It’s rewarding to see them change; he achieved his GCSEs against all the odds and is straight through to a level 3 college course; he’s a bright kid, even though he missed a year’s education.” Lynsey’s own children have learned about acceptance and understanding, too.

The little moments matter most: “It makes me proud when I see him look confident, taking pride in his appearance, or when he chooses something himself when he always found that hard. He makes out he’s hard but spots little things—at an event, a little boy wouldn’t join in a game, he noticed and helped him join in.”

Support and Advice

Lynsey credits the fostering service and social workers for their support: “The support has been immense; my Supervisory Worker and Mockingbird Hub Carer have been amazing. I couldn’t have asked for better support.”

For anyone considering fostering a teenager, Lynsey sums it up in three words: Rewarding, Fun, Challenging. “You have to be willing to think of it differently, be prepared, there’s nothing you can’t get through if you’re doing it together. With a teenager, you have to remember that you’re not going to be the most important relationship like with a little child; for a teenager it’s their friends. It’s really important to be willing to get to know their friends and to build those relationships.”

Connie and Jatinder's story

Meet Connie and Jatinder – they hadn’t planned to become foster carers, but when a friend of their son’s needed a safe place to stay, they stepped in. Now, nearly three years on, they’re fostering older children and sharing their journey – the unexpected beginning, the proudest moments, and the difference fostering has made to their lives.

“We hadn’t planned on becoming foster carers - it just happened. One day, a friend of our son’s needed help and a place to stay after things broke down at home. He had been sofa-surfing for five weeks and had seen things no young person should. We agreed to let him stay for a few nights and reached out to social services. When it became clear that his only option might be a residential home that wouldn’t meet his additional needs, we decided he could stay with us for as long as he needed as kinship carers. It wasn’t really a decision; it simply felt right. We could see the potential in this young person, knew we could make a difference, and just couldn’t stand by and watch him get lost in the system. Teen placements are rare, and we knew that if we didn’t step up, perhaps no one would.”

“Nearly three years have passed, and we now foster older children, having moved from kinship carers to full foster carers. The young man who started it all encouraged us to take this step when he was accepted into university. Our house is his family home: he returns during the holidays and has become a wonderful role model and supportive friend to every young person we care for.”

“The application process to become kinship carers was intrusive, but our assessing social worker was incredible, guiding us through every stage at a pace we were comfortable with. It’s easy to see why the process has to be so thorough - they’re trusting you with vulnerable children who need care and safety. The training has been fantastic: not only does it help you develop new skills, but what you learn can apply to your own children too. It opens your eyes and changes how you see things.”

“The Barnsley Fostering community is amazing. Support is always just a phone call away. Our supervising social worker is there for us at every step, and there’s a whole family of other foster carers who truly understand what you’re experiencing. You can always ask for advice or simply chat with someone who gets it. Events are a real highlight: carers and children come together, and it feels like an extended family.”

“Watching our foster son grow has been an incredible journey. He went from leaving school and not wanting further education to enjoying college, applying for university, and excelling there - something he never thought possible. He has faced his challenges, embraced new opportunities, and his future looks bright. We’ve seen him learn to drive and pass his test, organise get-togethers at our house, and even introduce us to his girlfriend. He has grown from an awkward teen into a confident young adult with strong values and a great sense of humour. He sees us as family, and Connie is his “borrowed mum”. He is truly part of our family. What makes us proudest is that every Thursday evening, while at university, he phones Connie for a long chat to catch up - he has never missed a week. Those calls are special and mean the world to us.”

“Fostering has changed how we view behaviour in young people and adults alike. We’re more patient now, and the training has helped us understand that there’s always a reason behind a child’s behaviour. It has taught us to question, listen, and grow.”

“If you’re thinking about fostering, just do it. There’s nothing to lose by enquiring or applying, and you can always change your mind. It’s important to consider what’s right for you and for the young person you may care for; if it’s not a good fit, it’s better to say so - for everyone’s sake. But if you do go ahead, you’ll find love, laughter, and lasting friendships with other carers. It’s a support network that’s there for you, whether you need advice, a chat, or a shoulder to lean on. The team at Barnsley Fostering is fantastic too.” 

“Foster carers come from all backgrounds and walks of life, and every single one is needed. You are needed. We might not be able to change the whole world, but through fostering we can transform a child’s life - giving them a home, the love they deserve, and hope for a brighter future.”

Daniel and Gemma's story

Meet Gemma and Daniel - they've been fostering together since 2017 and have welcomed nearly 20 children into their home over the years. Now, they're sharing what it’s really like, and how being part of a Fostering Friendly workplace has made all the difference.

"I have been a foster carer, along with my wife Gemma and our son, since 2017. Over the past eight years, we have cared for almost 20 children, providing support ranging from a few days to a few years. The role is challenging but incredibly rewarding - knowing that you’ve been able to make a positive impact on the lives of children in need, even when caring for them on an emergency or short-term basis."

"Because of the nature of the role, you take on additional responsibilities and must complete further training to ensure you have the skills to provide the best possible care. I initially thought this would be difficult to manage alongside my job as an Engineer within the Highways Service. However, since the Council became a Fostering Friendly employer, balancing work, family, and fostering commitments has thankfully become much easier. The Council provides me with additional support and leave, which enables me to attend training and carry out fostering-related duties."

"My manager is understanding about the need to take leave at short notice, and we have flexible working arrangements so I can attend important events in our fostering children’s lives. Being able to use Fostering Friendly leave for things like training - when I previously had to use annual leave - has made a big difference. These days can also be used to attend events for the children in our care, such as birthdays, school plays, and key transition moments."

"While fostering has its challenges, the support offered through the Council’s Fostering Friendly status allows me to provide children with the highest level of care within a nurturing family unit, while still managing my work commitments."

Kim's story

Kim’s Foster Carer Story

"I’ve always wanted to work with children, and fostering felt like the perfect way to make a real difference. I believed I could offer children a loving home and help them grow and thrive in a happy family environment. The idea of making a positive impact on their lives was what truly inspired me.

The application process was straightforward, and I felt supported from the very beginning. I received all the help I needed, including pre-skills to foster training and guidance from supportive social workers who were there for me every step of the way.

There have been so many proud moments throughout my fostering journey. I think of all the children I’ve cared for over the years, including a mum and baby placement and children with special educational needs or disabilities. Watching these children thrive and achieve, and seeing their smiles, fills me with pride. It’s especially rewarding to work as a team, supporting family time and helping children connect with grandparents and siblings.

Being part of the fostering community has made a big difference to my experience. The Mockingbird programme is a fantastic support network; everyone in our constellation supports each other, and we work together as a team. We have regular support group meetings and are always there to offer advice and encouragement.

Over the 25 years I’ve been fostering, I’ve taken part in all the training available and have learned so much from it. I’ve gained new skills by caring for children of all ages, including mother and baby placements, and I’ve specialised in fostering children with special needs and complex health requirements. This is the part of fostering I love the most.

Being a foster carer to a child with special educational needs and complex health needs has been the most rewarding thing I have done in my life. All foster children are given a lot of love and care, but with a poorly child there’s a little bit of extra love and special care. Advocating for a non-verbal child and seeing them happy, settled, and having their specialist needs met through ongoing support and training melts my heart.

With the right support in place, foster carers have the tools they need to prevent burnout. I never looked after a child with complex health needs and disabilities until I got a phone call about a baby. I was told about her condition and thought, “Okay, I’ll give it a go.” I cared for that child for 11 years—all of her life. She taught me so much about looking after a child with complex health needs and severe disability.

I now foster another child with special educational needs and complex health needs. This is my vocation. It is hard work at times and a big commitment. It’s a specialist role, and if anyone is thinking of fostering a child with special educational needs and complex needs, my advice is: please give it a go. It’s not for everybody, but it was meant to be for me. There is a real need for more foster carers for children with special educational needs, complex health needs, and disabilities. With support, I have found it the most rewarding thing I have ever done.

If I were to give any advice to someone thinking about becoming a foster carer, I’d say it is hard work, but it’s worth every bit of effort. When you see children thriving and achieving in a safe, happy, and secure home, it’s the most rewarding feeling you can imagine."

Bex's story

Meet Bex - she knew she had the patience and skills to support teenagers and wanted to give children in care a loving home. As a single carer without nearby family, she’s leaned on the support of the fostering community, especially her Mockingbird network. Now, she’s sharing her journey so far – from the first steps of training to the proudest moments of seeing a young person grow in confidence.

“I became a foster carer because I wanted to give children in care a loving home. I felt I had the right skills and patience - especially when it came to supporting teenagers - and I believed I could truly help them thrive."

“When it came time to apply, the process took about six months. I was assigned an assessing social worker, and before my assessment began, I took part in a pre-Skills to Foster training course. That training turned out to be genuinely valuable, giving me a solid foundation for what was to come.”

“One of the proudest moments for me as a foster carer has been seeing the child I care for grow in confidence. Watching that transformation is something I’ll always cherish.”

“As a single carer without family nearby and only a small circle of friends, I’ve come to rely heavily on the support around me. Being part of a Mockingbird family has been especially important - that network has been absolutely crucial in helping me continue my fostering journey.”

“Personally, fostering has helped me develop a deep understanding of every stage of a child’s life, from babies all the way to adulthood. I’ve gained knowledge that’s essential for caring for children in care, particularly since their backgrounds can be truly heartbreaking. I feel equipped to guide and support them, helping them work through the psychological challenges they might face.”

“If someone is thinking about becoming a foster carer, my advice is: go for it, but be ready to give it your all. The commitment is big, but so are the rewards.”

Amy and Stephen's story

Meet Amy and Stephen - they decided to start fostering because, as a placement worker, Amy wanted to do even more for the children she saw in need. When they found themselves moving into a home with extra space, the timing felt perfect. Now, they’re sharing their experience so far - the challenges, the joys, and everything in between!

What first drew you to fostering?

"I was first drawn to fostering after working as a placement broker for a neighbouring local authority. Seeing the number of children needing safe and secure homes, and the limited number of carers available - especially for older children - really shocked me.

“I would come home some days and talk to Stephen, wishing we could take in a child ourselves, particularly when we were struggling to find carers for them. Stephen kept saying, 'Well, let’s do it, let’s find out more about it all.' I knew then that fostering was something I wanted to consider once we moved house and had extra space."

How did you find the application process?

"The application process was brilliant, and we felt at ease throughout the whole thing. I think this is really important, as so much of your personal life is explored.

“Natalie, who was our assessing social worker, took the time to really get to know us and our family, and made us feel incredibly safe when discussing sensitive subjects and information. She worked around our schedule so that we could complete meetings and assessments at times that suited our family. We had in-person meetings and Teams calls in the evenings once our children were in bed, which made the whole process feel much more relaxed, and she got [to know] the real ‘us’."

What has your experience been like so far?

"Our first 18 months as foster carers have been incredible. We have supported six children already, all of whom have been very different placements, ranging from 10 months old to 13 years old.

“We have laughed, we have cried (a lot of happy tears), we have given a thousand hugs, and we have built the trust of some of the most vulnerable young people.

“To become that person they rely on, who is always going to be there for them when they need you, and to see their face light up when they see you at the end of the school day - that feeling is just amazing."

How have your birth children found becoming a foster family?

"It has been lovely to see how our own children have blossomed throughout our fostering journey, especially our eldest, who is now six. He speaks so positively about his experience, especially at school, and loves to tell people why we foster and how he helps the children who come to join our family. He has become such a considerate and caring young boy.

“A little note from my six-year-old son about what he enjoys most about being part of a fostering family: ‘I like new boys and girls coming to our home. Sometimes they are really scared and upset, but I like to show them where things are in our house. I choose them some toys and help my mum decorate their room. I like to play with them and help them feel happy living with our family.’"

Are there any memorable fostering moments that stand out to you?

"One of the most memorable moments was taking one of our foster children on her first holiday abroad. The excitement and being able to share that experience with her was so heartwarming, and that memory will stay with us forever.

“Another memory that makes us feel incredibly proud is from our recent placement. The girls, aged eight and 13, came to us in September and shared that they had never had a nice Christmas and felt very apprehensive about the whole festive period. Seeing their faces on Christmas morning as they came downstairs and opened presents they had put on their lists to Santa was incredibly emotional for us all, and they were so grateful.”

What would you say to someone who is considering fostering?

"I would encourage anyone considering becoming a foster carer to take the leap.

“It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done, and I can’t imagine not being a foster carer now. Even during the tough times, seeing how much your help and support mean to these children makes it all worth it. The support you receive is second to none, and the fostering community is incredibly welcoming and supportive. You will never be alone on your journey.

“I have definitely become much more patient and more aware of how children are feeling on a deeper level, which has positively influenced our own parenting. Stephen has grown in confidence when working with professionals and understanding that things can change quickly within a placement.”

Shirley's story

Meet Shirley- Shirley has been fostering for Barnsley Council for eight years and describes herself as “as quite level headed, resourceful, fun-loving and straight talking”.  We caught up with Shirley and asked her to share her experience of being part of the fostering community in Barnsley. Here is Shirley’s story in her own words.

“Foster children have been a part of our wider family for years, as my sister and brother-in-law fostered. It was something I’d thought about a lot, so when my personal circumstances changed, I decided to go for it and [her fostering application] was approved in 2016.”

“It was Valentine's Day when my first child joined our family, she was quite a character and I jokingly called her My Funny Little Valentine. She used to laugh when I often pointed out that most people got chocolates and flowers on Valentine's Day, but instead I got my 11 year old ‘Funny Little Valentine’, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way! She stayed with me for almost two and a half years.”

“My next adventure was quite a challenge, a four-year-old boy who was a ball of energy and stress. He’d found it hard to settle in numerous previous placements, but when I met him and got to know him a little, I fell in love with him forever. Over a period of six months, I worked on building up a relationship with him. I wanted it to be his idea to come and live with me.”

“My current adventure arrived on my birthday in 2021. She was also just four years old...She arrived having no idea how to be herself, it was like walking her out of a dark room and putting her into a bright, sunny garden and she’d absolutely no idea what to do! That was my mission, to show her how good it was to be her, the fun she could have and most importantly, how to use her voice!”

Nicola and Steve's story

Meet Nicola and Steve- they’ve provided emergency and respite foster care to local children for 11 years. We spoke to Nicola and Steve to learn about the support they have received from Barnsley Council. Here are Nicola and Steve in their own words:

“We’ve had a really positive experience of working with Barnsley Fostering. Our social workers have done everything to make it work, and have always accommodated our needs, giving us flexibility such as the option to provide respite placements.

There’s also been great communication; any issues we’ve had have been sorted out quickly – they work really hard."

“In any career you want an opportunity to progress, and that’s been made possible for [us]. Training and upskilling is important to us – we both like learning and are naturally curious, and it’s all been so easily available.

We’ve learned about therapeutic parenting, and it’s been so interesting to see how a child’s brain develops. There are always opportunities to learn new things. We are lifelong learners!"

Jon's story

Meet Jon- a long term foster carer for Barnsley. We asked Jon to tell us about fostering, in his own words. Here’s what he told us about fostering as a single person, the magic of seeing children in his care grow, and how he works together with birth families.

“I’m a long-term single foster carer, which means I look after the child or young person until they reach adulthood. Being a long-term foster carer is a bit different; all plans are medium to long term, such as building up skills for young people to grow up and achieve their ambitions and develop good relationships with their schools, as well as their family members where this is possible.

It’s great to see the change in the child in my care. I invest a lot of time in his hobbies – we go swimming and I take him to football training.”

“It’s challenging, just like the responsibility of caring for anybody, and you’ve got to enjoy spending time with people.

“Although I'm a ‘corporate parent’, to the kids I’m ‘just Jon’. This is how I’m often introduced by [the young people]! This helps reassure their family members that I’m not there to replace them, just to provide that care they need.

“You need to have a realistic expectation of the young person and put the hours in – I learn something new every day! We are currently learning how to play guitar together.

It’s important to support them to develop their own identity, and it’s great to see the change in them as they grow in confidence.”